one day

one day all of these thought bubbles i have will come true. for the first time in my life they aren't popping. they are turning into dreams, adventures and reality. i have so much happiness in my heart that it could practically explode. my sweets will be home no matter what in forty-three days. i realized that earlier tonight and cried the most happy tears i've ever cried. knowing i will have my love back in my arms, safe and sound, is probably one of the greatest feelings one can feel. 

we talked for thirty minutes tonight. but in those thirty minutes i fell even more in love with him. he has no idea the love i have for him and i can't wait until i can express it to him. one day. 

i've found such a peace within myself in the past few days. it's like the skies parted and an angel above me told me "don't worry, be happy"... so i did just that. i stopped worrying, and i'm just being happy. no need to stress and worry about the small things. who cares if a pile of laundry isn't hung up and folded right away. who cares if i don't put the blowdryer away right after i use it. those small things seem like huge deals to me sometimes and i have to remind myself, quite often, which is hard to admit, that it doesn't matter. life is short. blowdryers and laundry can wait. being around family and outdoors and enjoying life is what matters. i don't make the most money in the world but i believe that because i'm doing what i love to do that i will prosper. one day. 

i had an "aha" moment a few days ago. i thought to myself... i believe that just seven months ago i met my future. i met my future husband and father of my children. provider for the home. fixer of things. a shoulder to cry on and arms to wrap around me when i just don't feel like i can go on. he knows me and believes in me and i know he feels the same way about me. i know he sees me in his future and although we haven't talked about it yet, i just know he will be there. forever. on the good days, the just okay days and the bad days. he will be there and i will be there for him, because without him i don't have this happy heart and the butterflies in my tummy when i think about my future. one day. 

sometimes I lay
under the moon
and thank God I'm breathing
then I pray
don't take me soon
cause I am here for a reason
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around
because
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day
it's not about
win or lose cause
we all lose
when they feed on the souls of the innocent
blood drenched pavement
keep on moving though the waters stay raging
in this maze you can lose your way (your way)
it might drive you crazy but don't let it faze you no way (no way)
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around

i hope that someday this little corner of mine on the internet grows. i want to be able to document and pour out my feelings into something that i can look back on one day. one day when i have my future, i can look back and know that everything happened for reasons and i can understand and realize the growth within myself. i can see this beautiful journey i'm on. in life. in love. so in love with life i am. 

tomorrow is going to be a glorious day. a little morning talk with the sweets, a hike, the beach and homemade dinner. can't wait. 

my wish is to continue the way i'm living my life because i'm truly happy and i know that it will all show and pay off and end up with me in the exact relationship i need with myself. one day. 

one day. 

times flies.

seriously people, times flies when you aren't thinking about it. 

the last time i posted about the time left until the sweets is home there was two and a half months left...

and now it's only a month and a half. can you believe that?!?! i can't, actually. time has just

flown by at super speed.

months left: one and a half

weeks left: six

days left: forty two

skype dates left: eleven

i miss that man so much and can't wait to have him back in my arms. 

hopefully someday i will have pictures of the two of us to put up on here. 

until then, just picture THE most handsome man on the planet

seriously. 

xoxo,

jessica michel

eating raw

today marks the first day of my eating raw adventure. after reading a blog i read on a daily basis i discovered that she is much like me and this eating raw diet helped her to overcome depression and her lack of energy. so i'm going for it. i'm over feeling sad, tired and depressed all the time and it's time to finally do something about it. i read the book that she read about the diet and then went out to trader joes to buy my supplies. aka:raw food. i picked up fresh veggies, fruit, lots of salad, agave nectar, quinoa and sprouted bread. this morning for breakfast i had a bowl of oatmeal with agave nectar, cinnamon and blueberries. it was pretty tasty. i also made two pieces of toasted sprouted bread and topped it with agave nectar and cinnamon. breakfast should always be the biggest meal of the day. the funny thing is, i'm not as full as if i were to eat regular bread with butter and eggs. i plan on keeping this diet up for twenty one days to see what happens. the girl whose blog i read about this diet on, lost fifteen pounds in three weeks. if i lose fifteen pounds in three weeks, i will be to my goal weight and totally ready for summer. i work out daily, so i will also tone, instead of just lose weight. i'm really excited to see the results, but i'm really hoping i can keep up with this style of eating. it's hard, especially during that time of the months like right now. i just want to eat cookies and chocolate and salty foods. but, i'm going to resist them. my snack today is going to be hummus with pita, lunch is going to be quinoa with agave nectar, cinnamon and cut up fruit mixed into it. snack after that will be carrots and cherry tomatoes and dinner with be a nice big spinach salad topped with tomatoes, bell peppers and quinoa. if i'm going to snack though, it has to be 30 minutes prior to the next meal, and if i want to eat fruit it needs to be three hours after the previous meal so my body can digest the fruit properly. i'm just going to stick to my diet plan today though and not think about that three hour empty stomach rule. seems slightly silly to me. so we will see what happens. i'd like to step on the scale in a week and be five pounds lighter. crossing my fingers! 

cross your fingers for me people! i need all the finger crossing i can get. this is going to be tough but totally worth it. soooo totallllly worth it. or at least that's what i keep repeating to myself over and over and over again. 

xoxo,

jessica michel